my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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