wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
