i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
