she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
