I am puke
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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