Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I'm at about main and main street
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"