God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
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his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
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I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?