Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
