i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
