I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
