No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
