eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
