Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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