my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Just high enough for therapy.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
