But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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