You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
