it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
