My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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