Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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