Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
