I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Sext me about skeletons
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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