Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
