I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
mondays should just be called national damage control day
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
