Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
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