It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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