I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
