and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Randomize
