I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
