You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
We need to get me chipped asap
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
