Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
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