sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Randomize
