Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
