I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
