You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
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