remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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