Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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