All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
