if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize