I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police