Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?