she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
