She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
