i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
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