After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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