A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
