Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Church boner. Awkwardddd
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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