You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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