lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Randomize
