I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
