You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
My balls are so social today.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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