Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
hell yes lets make some ravioli
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
