...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
At least life still wants to fuck me.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
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