first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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