That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
