At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
