my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
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