Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
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I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
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She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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